Merry Christmas 2022 & Happy New Year 2023 !

First of all I would like to say Merry Christmas 2022 to those who celebrate it. Well, I thank God for His faithfulness throughout this year even though I realize that I have been so stubborn HAHAHA. I think this year I have been learning a lot, this year is not the best year I felt; I may not get what I wish this year, yet 2022 was indeed a good year for me to learn and lean on Him. 

My last holy communion in 2022 while celebrating Christmas Celebration in my church.. I think this verse has concluded well with what I have been through in 2022. I promise to God that in 2023 I will learn no to force anything, I used to fight a lot in my heart with God every situation doesn't turn out as I plan. I blame God and asked Him, why He didn't give me a little bit chance to get what I have been desiring in my life? And Yes till I write this post He has not given me nor answered my prayer yet. But in the times of struggling I learn a lot to lean on Him and realize that I lack ability to obey Him. 

Honestly, to let go something you love for long time you have been desiring for is hard and I know it is my idol. I'm starving for love, for I never felt loving nor comfortable with someone before and when I found it I know that it even seems hard to have a little chance to be with it. And what makes me calm is only that I know everything is under His control. I'm sorry Lord for doubting Your sovereignty. I don't know my heart just feels a bit hurt while im writing this post. But I want to believe You Lord, there is something reason You allow something to happen, and I know You know better than I do.