Faith Journey

Don't get me wrong why I read those two books 😁. I don't intend to die nor consider myself as a religious person. Those books are stored in a popular category bookshelf, it's the first reason I bought them😁. I also wonder that most of reviews said these books would change our perspective of life. I hope it will do the same with me. So yes I did buy it.

And my first impression is they are totally worth to read. I don't regret it at all. HAHA 😏😏😎😎 I also make these books as my companion reading after the Bible every morning.

Both of them are non-fictional, so what the writer wrote based on the true experiences of people's Near Death Experiences (NDEs). So don't expect that the stories would have the same structure as novels or dramas we knew nor contains a clear plot and even has an ending. Hmm but they do have climax ; their encounter with God Himself. Actually if you ask me to retell the books, it will also be difficult for me. Because I don't know how to start to retell it.

But I think their experiences are marvelous. They are even more amazing than any K-drama I love or any fairy tale stories ever exist.

And also I think everyone is worth to know the new knowledge that I gained from those books. And I'm grateful that God allows me to know how heaven looks like and what is waiting for me in the future. It's more than my personal obsessions and success, and more important thing it could effect me on how I value & view my current life.

Well, they are the first book I bought about heaven, death or an afterlife experience, I never bought any book like that before. Some people might dislike talking about death or heaven or hell, but despite its controversial & highly sensitive themes, I think these books are uplifting and moving. And I do love them all! 💗💘😋

This post does not aim to review the books, but rather to share the valuable insights I gleaned from the books.
For most all of stories can be drawn :
Perhaps, in a real life, we have many chances to meet plenty of kindhearted people. Look at your parents, your best-friends, your sisters, and probably also a stranger you've just met on the street, they may be the one of kind-people you know.

But as human being, there is always a possibility to have a good and an evil side to everyone's personality. Today I please you, but tomorrow I probably disappoint you. 

But it's NOT applicable for God.

This is the first insight we must plant in our mind.  Actually if we read Bible, this book will share the same like what Bible says. I don't say that these books can be the replacement of Bible, I do believe Bible is the whole truth of God's words.


But why I  like these books too because how people recount their experiences and write these books from modern-perspective, so it will be easier for me to understand as we share the same era, the same vocabularies, the same worlds, the same cultures and etc. And also most of all the experiences have the Bible verses too as the foundation to support their testimony 😀.

Some people in the books have a chance to meet Jesus in heaven before they returned to their physical body. Jesus welcomed them warmly and lovingly as how parents welcomed their beloved son home after separating from several years.

Not even only separating for several years, imagine that you have stolen your parents' money, and spent all the money to pursuit your personal pleasure for sex, drugs, club, etc. And when you find out you have no money anymore, no home, no destination to go, you come to your parent's house. however when your parents look into you, instead of driving you out and cursing you, they hug you thickly, they welcome you with joyful tears, serve you with the most delicious foods, and celebrate your coming because the lost beloved son has come home.

And YES, JESUS described us His passionate, unfailing, everlasting, and unconditional love for us 2000 years ago through the parable in Luke 15:11-32 about The Lost Son. That's totally the exact stories of what they were experiencing while coming home to heaven.

Most of people shared the same experience where God did ask them "what have you done in your life?". It's not about our personal achievements but rather our relations with others. And when they met Him, they told that God didn't judge their sins or their life, He just showed it. But when Jesus asked them that question, they are the one who judge. Some of them feel ashamed of what they did in their lifetime and made them think that they were supposed to do much things for Jesus to show.

I think this is why Bible often reminds us not to judge others, because God, who has the authority to do so, but He doesn't.

Even in Jimmy's case, in the book of  Heaven, an Unexpected Journey: One Man's Experience with Heaven, Angels, and the Afterlife, Jimmy was never going to church, he was an ambivalent person. He lived for himself; earning money as much as possible, pleasing his personal desires, collecting expensive sport cars, and only thinking about how to expand his business for personal matter.
At the end of his breath as he was dying, he said "Lord forgive me" -- the words spoken faithfully. He was supposed to settle in the darkness in hell as he used to dwell in the dark in whole of his past life. The devils even almost dragged him down to hell and said that hell was his place, but suddenly Jesus sent His angels to bring him home. Jesus did still save him and called his-name gently as he is His only dearest son.


I almost cried while typing it down.😂

So when people say lies of your identity: that your are unworthy, unloved, unwanted, ugly, useless, dumb, throw the thoughts away from your mind, and bury them. Your creator wait you home in heaven until we accomplish His missions.

And this is the beautiful story of Crystal, if you would like to know the full story here is the video



She got abducted and sexuality violence in a very early age by 3, she was being hurt in their lifetime, that made her think God did not exist and she was unworthy and disgusting creature.
It was all changed when they met Jesus in their experiences. They are harboring an irresistible & irreplaceable knowledge about their real home & their identity and what waiting them in future.

She did not only meet God directly, but God let her to experience & feel directly His love. God put His unfailing love in their heart & mind, and no man can take it away. And she knew that all of her mistakes in the past never change God's love for her.


2. WE HAVE BEEN REDEEMED & OFFICIALLY SAVED BY GRACE

It's true that we have to love others because God loves us first. He demonstrated His unfailing love by sacrificing Himself to death to take away our sins long before we were born. Imagine that, long before we arrived in this world, He has redeemed our future sins — the sins we will do in the future.


We all are not supposed to be in heaven, none of us. Heaven is a holy place, & NO MAN CAN EVER REACH GOD'S STANDARDS TO LIVE IN HEAVEN. We cannot earn our way to heaven by all of our good deeds. Once you lie, you have sinned, once you corrupt time, you are a thief. That's why we need Jesus to pay off our sins.

So how we can get to heaven?

It's because of God's grace. Yes it is. Most of people in the books confessed that they have grievously sinned in their life-time, they should be in hell, but when they begged forgiveness from Jesus, Jesus did save them.  The ONLY WAY that can deliver us from evils is GOD HIMSELF, if we let Him. 

Once people get into the hell, we have no access to heaven, and Jesus is the only one, who has the access to take us out from hell. It's not because of our achievement, and what we do and don't that bring us to heaven. But because of God's mercy we are saved. Because of Amazing Grace that makes us worthy.

3. EXHILARATING FUTURE AWAITS US

What does make you survive? Students are studying so hard in a hope they can graduate, work, and make their parents proud in the future. Parents do not give up on their works to give the best support for their children, in a hope that their children will grow better and greater than them in the future. And we work hard today in a hope for having a better life & better financial plan in the future.

Most of us decide to persevere now, because we know something better awaits us in the future, though we don't see it yet.

There are always the time I get really tired of my life. When I think that I've failed, I cannot meet my expectations, I ruined my plans, feeling so anxious, and I cannot make my parents proud of my achievements.

Honestly, as an unstable adult who is still searching for identity and developing my independence, I'm easily anxious & insecure over a little thing; about jobs, about salaries, about failure, about future, and many more. I ever told someone I trust about what I was feeling and my anxiety, but instead of listening me, she judged me, since then I never share it to others. 

Till I read those books and I start to embrace my anxiety. I know my life doesn't have something to do with my personal obsessions, it's not about me, it's all about Him, and it calms me.

It seems like God is speaking forward to me to think more about what He concerns on in my life rather than thinking mine. Every time I feel anxious, upset, and unworthy, my thoughts returned to Him that I have to accomplish His goals through my jobs and through everything I'm doing right now.

This is the quote from my favorite Christian-blogger, you can check out here


So friends, whatever we do and work for right now may it can be the channel of His blessings for others, because we know something exhilarating waiting us ahead. And may all of our labors even in our smallest faithful works become our future provisions to show Him as we meet Him face to face afterwards.


For everything we have done, it will never be enough to make us worthy to get to heaven, no never. It's only Jesus that can bring us there. He has PAID OFF our sins (even before we were born) that make us worthy to settle to His home.

I can never pay Him back, what I can do is only obeying Him. Being His channel to spread blessings and His love for people. So that one day when I meet Him face to face, I can hug Him and see Him smile at me..



Until we step at the gate of heaven and we realize that we've done and we're home.

At the end of this post, it's a beautiful truth to know that

My sister often tells me that she wants to go back to her childhood life. Because she should not think about jobs, earning money, she could be free.
But I said to her that I never want to go back to my school life (though  it was memorable) or even a childhood life. I have been happier now because I should not think about home-works, I should not struggle over mathematics, physics, chemistry's examinations (except English examination 😛), I have my own money, I should not ask my parents' permission to travel alone, and I should not ask my parents if I want to buy something.

But there is the thing that I long for childhood, it is.............. the soul.
I remember when I asked my 9-years-cousin to buy ketchup to the nearest market and I told him if there was any change he could take it and bought anything he wanted at the market. Without any arguments, he immediately got me a ketchup and bought a candy for him. I could see how happy he was chewing his candy he got.

As a grown-up person, we can obtain materially more than the kids do. We have more money, we can buy the new advanced phone, we can visit  every new restaurant, visit every exotic place, but often, we cannot be enough of it. There is always a desire to have more and more. If you google "how to be grateful" you will find out around 221.000.000 results, and I'm sure that proves enough that it is what most of adults are dealing with nowadays.

Every weekend my little cousin always visits my home, because he likes playing with my dog. And that day was my dog bathing schedule. When my father started to bathe my dog, he volunteered himself to bathe him. Not only that, after he bathed my dog, he also volunteered himself to wash my motorcycle. He did it passionately and showed me delightedly that my motorcycle has been clean. Every time I tell him to do something such helping me washing the dishes, sweeping, cutting the carrots, he does do it passionately. They never think it's a burden to do such thing, they consider it as a new thing to discover. They are not thirsty of authorities, without they ever realize, they have become a humble-servant, that's why I think sometimes as adults, we should learn more to be a passionate servant from children. 

👶👶👶Children can be easily hurt and easily forget at once.
I remember when I scolded my little cousin because when I forbid him to touch or do something, he still did it intentionally.  And there are many times when my cousin is disobedient and I scold him. Every time he gets scolded, he always stands apart and cries alone. I know he was hurt at that time. After a while I come to him and apologize, I explained him why he should obey what I have told him. Instead of arguing it, he agrees and even innocently admitted his mistakes. 

We must be familiar with the words "Forgive the persons, but never Forget the mistakes." Honestly, I totally agree with the words. For example when you have a boyfriend, he cheated on you once or twice, can you give him third or forth chances? Most of us may never do it, even when we have forgiven them. And that also happens to my little cousin. At one time, he has a naughty friend who did something bad to him. I told him to keep his distance with that naughty friend, but as always how the children's friendship goes, they will befriend again and forget their conflicts.

My little cousin

• A child is innocent.

• A child is trusting.

• A child believes without complication.

• A child has not had time to allow the preconceived notions of the world to form his decision-making process.

• A child receives with joy, forgetting herself with light-hearted abandonment.

• A child is humble.

• A child is content in the little things.

• A child has the faith to move mountains.

• A child is awed by majestic splendor.

• A child takes to heart God’s Word in all its simplicity.

That's why I really like to see children smiling or laughing, their eyes truly depict genuineness. 😊😊😊😊 

This hectic modern world needs more innocent children's soul.
 


Sigh, I'm longing for possessing such kind of that soul.


Credits :
Credit 1

Some of us must assume that Love 💓 associate with affection, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment, devoted. But how if someone shows you his passionate affection by breaking you down, can you consider it's love?

Yeah I ever felt that way last year; God shows me His deep love by breaking my heart.

Strolling down feeds on Facebook, Instagram, and engaging in current issues with another netizens are part of my favorite hobbies so far. I remember last year became the most interesting political era in my country. My favorite governor ; the most honest and brilliant former governor should lose the election because of some personal matters, and I think it's unfair.

As I cannot see justice in my country and as a youth who is still learning in controlling the emotion, I got carried away with the emotions. I stood up with him by pouring out all of my judgments on my mind with harsh words towards that issues to my status on social media that may offend some people, because I carried religion issues on my status. I knew I was wrong that time, but I did not care, I still thought that I had a right to express my opinion as citizen and stood up for justices even in wrong way.

One time in the morning I read my Bible, God rebuked me gently through His verses on:

Hello guys, here I would like to share my dreams and how I standardize the life-goals. I dream of being successful young entrepreneur (success before 30 YEAY), the world recognizes your existence. I dream to live in western country like Europe or America, and marrying a western guy as well 😂😂. I dream of living in a big house, saving with countless digit in my bank account, traveling to many beautiful & exotic places over the world.

But it's so shocking form while some people posses all what I want, but still decide to end up their life instead of enjoying all of them.

The world was shocked over Kate Spade & Anthony Bourdain's death these past months. I'm not fan of them both, but after their death I read some of their biographies on Internet. They are brilliant, amazing and inspiring persons with a lot of achievements. Actually they are not the only famous & rich persons who decided to suicide. Many inspiring persons out there like Jonghyun (the lead singer of famous korean boyband, SHINee), Robin Williams (one of my favorite comedian actors), some of them ended their own life tragically.
They can have countless digit savings in their bank account, they don't only have money, they also have popularity, luxury, they don't only win "things" they want in this world, but they also have won half of the world's population's hearts, they are adored by the world, their art-works are recognized by the world, and their hard-works have impacted and gave happiness to the world. So, I can really feel the world's loss over its best people.

But if those things (my dream)s are the requirements to the perfect-life; Robin Williams, Jonghyun, Kate Spade, Anthony would be the happiest persons in the world, and I might be the most phatetic person in the world. BUT they did end their life. So, what's wrong with it? I don't mean to judge what they have done, despite I admit it's a wrong thing to do. Everyone has their own problems, and we cannot compare everyone's strength in enduring the burdens & the pain.

If you open up the Bible, we will find out that thousands years ago, God has given us some directions to have a happy life. One of the verses I pick up coming up from

I'm not expert at storing happiness, but here are some practices that I (always) do to have a joyful heart and mind, especially overcoming my jealousy:

1. ASK HIM

First if you are not having peace at all in your heart, what you're gonna do is ASKING HIM, because He is the provider of eternal peace💧💕. 

It's a quite shocking that the one makes me realize that my prayer is wrong is my father (my father is non-religious person, he never goes to church in his life time) but he does realize me that life is not always about money, popularity, and luxurious life, it's a about HEART and MIND. He said instead of asking God being rich, asking Him to give you a joyful-heart.

 So I changed my prayer from : 
"Lord, make me success person, I want to make my parents proud, and I want to be RICH person. I want to travel the world, so my future children never ever feel suffer in their future life and I can school my children to the higher degree in the best university"

to

"Lord, grant me a joyful and humbled heart, center my heart and my mind to you, so that in any situation I can still feel joyful and for what You gives to me, let it be the channel of Your blessings to others."

God never promises us to take away problems from our life. Maybe each of us may have different difficulties such marriage & financial issues, family issue. They may steal your joyful heart and mind for awhile but do not let them stay any longer.

Ask Him for a  joyful-heart and He will grant you a new heart. No matter how hard your burdens are, you can still feel peace in your heart.

Every time I feel sad, no peace and feel bad for myself, I always come to my church after back from office (I pass the church from office to home). I pray alone to Santa Maria Cave at my church and I confess all of my feelings and ask Him to fix my heart.

At least openness is the beginning of recovery. When you cannot trust person to share with, trust Him to share your problems in a prayer.

this is where i usually pray

2.THINKING LESS ABOUT "ME"

In my case, my big issues are my mind 💣 & my heart 💔.

Do you know the phrase which says :

I am so insecure of myself, I am also feeling less and less, I'm afraid of disapproval and rejection, I'm trying to live my life on how the society nowadays standardize and it makes me never enough of my self.

As for the simple thing when I'm writing this post. There is a necessity to be read & complimented by people; When people scoff at my writings, it would make me down. And vice versa, when people like my writings it makes me excited.

I center my self too much on me. Sometimes it becomes pleasure and a necessity when I can show off the best out of me and people do acknowledge it. I live for myself. Sometimes we value our self based on what we have achieved and how people value us.

But I try more to not thinking about "me and me", I'm writing here as what on my mind and for my gratitude for Jesus. I just want to share God's kindness in my life. So, when people judge and scoff at what I write, it will never impact my joyfulness and I will keep writing no matter what haha😁😀.

So I try a lot (still in the process of learning) for what I have done is not to please everyone but to please Jesus. I really hope He can smile in heaven when look at me! 😀😀😀



And also there is the time when I'm envious of my close friends' success. Seriously, it makes me sad and feels so bad for my self.
I graduated first among my class-mates in college, I got the job faster than most of my friends, but there is still something missing in my heart. When I see my friends who just get a job higher than me, I got so envious, and for my friends who can live and study abroad I also got envious.

Some moments when I think my joyfulness has been stolen by a silent thief - envy- I ever tried to deactivate my personal account on Instagram and tried every day to mediate so that I can have peace in my heart.

After that I open again my Instagram, I tried to be rejoice for them. And now I can overcome my jealousy over my friend by thinking less of me and thinking more of them.

I have many more experiences while I'm thinking more of others decreasing my worries. You can maybe once try my idea; look the weak around you, instead of spending your money for your desire, give the money to them. At one time, I've been to food festival, and I saw the blind man who was waiting for people to buy his crackers. At first, I planned to buy hamburger for me, but as I saw him, I bought his crackers. Even though at that time I was not wanting crackers, but I don't know why as I saw him I felt so joyful inside my heart.

3. ENJOY THE LITTLE THING IN YOUR LIFE 

The requirement to joyful-life is only being content; being grateful is not only necessary when you have a lot of good things to be thankful for and have no problem at all. Being grateful means no matter how conditions you are, and no matter how big problems you are facing, you still can see God's kindness inside it.

Maybe for some people and me sometimes it's a simple thing that quite hard to apply. But thank God, we can ask Him to give a joyful-heart for free. God has the ability change heart and mind, I do believe that. In my case, sometimes I'm too lazy to pray and thinking it's not gonna work, tomorrow my problems are still the same. But trust me when I have problems and pray for it, slowly but surely I can overcome every problem in my life.  Life without problems seem like soup without salt. The problem is our heart & our mind.

I've felt so stuck just living in Bekasi nothing special at all. But if I look deeper and around, I have my family, my sister, my dad, my mother, my dog. I set some time every day after going back from work to talk with my parents and sister, we laugh together over just little things.

Not only that, I used to think that I would be happy to visit exotic places around the world, now I don't have to travel abroad, maybe just around Jakarta, Puncak with my big family also has made me happy and grateful.

While I'm complaining about my job, now I will do my best in office and enjoy every time to finish my duties and have talking with my colleagues.

We all agree that being rich is not wrong, totally not.But we still hear a lot of rich persons end up their life, that's why it's important to ask God for the guidance so that He can keep our heart and our mind in the right place from all of the negatives thoughts.

I'm also running a restaurant as my side job to have additional income. It's not crowded yet. You know 5 customers in a day is a miracle for me😂. There is many time force me to give up. Moreover when your parents oppose you instead of supporting you. It's a hard time for me. But now I try to believe in God and ask Him to keep my faith and spirit on fire no matter how hard it is. I'm grateful that God still gives me a chance to be productive and try hard not to wasting my time. Every time I got the customers I always immediately pray to thank God and hope the will return again next day.

But there is the time when I also complain like "if it remains like that how long I will earn millions and brings my parents to here and there and I can show off people that I've been established in this young age.", but now instead of thinking about how realizing my desires, now I set my mind to think how my hard-work is for God's glory, and the channel for His blessings, and yeah it makes me less worried.  



4. SMILE OFTEN

Believe or not, when you smile over little thing, it can increase your joyfulness in mind. So learn to more often smile.


Well, how depressed you are, and how worst you ever feel for yourself, don't take away your life. Your life is precious, you are not mistaken either. God still needs you and He can change the situation. If you need any friend, I'm here ready to listen to you. :))))

While her boyfriend was insensitive of her desires, instead of  complaining him, she learns to be more sensitive.

While her boyfriend lacked of romances, instead of comparing, she learns to be more faithful and tries to understand that.

While her boyfriend did no contact her first, instead of arguing it, she learns to be more selfless to contact him first.

When her boyfriend was busy and not enough time for her, instead of getting upset, she learns to be more patient.