Faith Journey

YEAYYYYY this month has been a year since I have my lovely doggy with me! You might think I'm weird, or too over haha yes but the story behind this which I think that God is tooooooooo cute and sweet hahaha😂😂.

I'm a dog lover. Every time I see a dog always makes me smile HAHA I don't know why, maybe because most of dogs' faces look pity but cute at once. Maybe that reason makes me feel compassionate to hug them, they are just like a living doll 😂.. Since I was a kid, I really wish to have a dog, however my parents never allowed me to have one because they think that all of animals tend to spread diseases.  Well it's okay, moreover I don't want to cost million just to adopt a dog.

Before I continue my story, I have my own type of dog:

1. The first one is it should be free-given dog LOL
2. The ears should hang down
3. It must be small, has a short-legged, or kind of  truly “dwarf” breeds I can say.
4. The dog should be smooth-coated, because I don't need to groom it in salon haha
5. The last but not least, it must be male. I will never want to have a female dog, because it's more complicated to treat female dogs rather than the male ones.

but but but not all of the free-given dogs I like. Some of my friends offer me the puppies to be adopted for free, but I dislike, because most of the puppies do not match with what I want: have curly or wire coat or maybe they are not dwarf breeds I wish, and the ears stand up.

And this is the cutest thing. When I visited my cousin, he offered me his relative's dog. I have not seen the pics yet even  knowing whether the dog is male or female, or what its breed but I suddenly agree to adopt it.

And yes the day when I picked the dog, it made me a little bit surprised that all of the requirements I wish is in the dog I was about to adopt. He is the cutest dog I've ever seen!!!

Every time I get tired, I play with my dog, and he always makes me smile and laugh. 

And yes Jesus is the cutest, isn't He? 😂 Imagine that, I think this is not the crucial experience in life, I mean, I'm still okay with or without the dogs, but He surprises me by giving something that I'm really wishing for a long time, just exactly what I wish. Not for my need, just for my amusement, He does care to make me smile in my tiring days by sending me the cutest dog ever.

See just a little thing that make you smile around you, if look at deep down, you'll realize that God's love is scattered for you even in the smallest moment. 😉😊

Lately I've been so tired dealing with routinity and it makes me quite hard to control my emotions; every time someone criticize what I'm doing that I think I'm right, I get upset easily, rebel, and cry easily.

And this often happens in my home. I have an ambivalent father, if I can be honest, that's so rarely too see a dad figure in him, and things become really tough at home every time he starts to argue. He seldom appreciates everything I've done, he tends to see the negatives and discourage me at my very lowest stage. It drives me crazy sometimes to be staying at home, and make me think why I should be dealing with such kind of person? I always try to stay apart from the negative friends in my life, but when it happens to my dad, what can I do ?

There is the time when I was about to go Wednesday Prayer and Fellowship with my friend at 7.30 pm, at that time, my sister was out of home, and she asked me to pick her up, and I asked her to use Gojek (kind of taxibike online). But because she did not have the application on her phone, I said that I would order it from my phone to pick her up, so she didn't have to worry. But that turned so hurt when my dad instead blamed me and said that I was a selfish person. He said I should change my personality to care more of others, especially my sister. Not only that, he recounted again and again my past mistakes. He does not know at all how tiring I was from my routinity and I need some refreshment outside to gather with positive people. That's not the first one happen, if i have to write it here, it will never be enough to 100 pages.

And this is another story of my friend. Last year became the hardest years for her. She had a happy family, her father opens a grocery store at her home and her mother was a teacher. She lived well. And suddenly, her father was caught by the police because of illegal online gambling, and sent to the jail for almost 6 months. At that hardest time, her mother becomes partially paralyzed and cannot wake up, she has to lie down in the bed all day (until right now). She then decided to resign and take care of her mother and sisters at home and running her father's grocery store to support life. 


I believe that God has a reason to place me, my friend, and you maybe in hard situation.
I love my father but sometimes he just drives me crazy. And then I look at to God and said to my self that Jesus is my father, I might never see a dad figure in life, but Jesus himself is my heavenly father and I know Jesus never leaves me alone. I know when my biological father does not appreciate me, but Jesus, my Dad will always appreciate what I've done. When my biological father never sees the positive in me, but I know for God I'm just the prefect child for Him. He knows my sorrows and I can always talk to Him through prayer.

If we see from the world perspective, it might be allowed to disrespect a parent like that, but as I take a look at God's standard, I know He has a reason to put me there.
Jesus knows me so well that I'm a tough person, and it's hard for me to respect a person who always disrespect me. it's easy just to leave like nothing happen if I meet a stranger do it to me, but when it comes to my father I have to learn an entire my life to respect him no matter what he has done to me. I learn to be more humble to keep silent and not to put a fight with him when everything seems to corner me.

And of course in my friend's case, she believes that she can pass all of it. All of the problems she is facing right now to shape her become stronger woman and to always surrender to Him. 

My thought turn to His words that we are like His clay in His hand. He should do it to shape our personality and characters to be more like Him.

Last Saturday, my family and I visited my mum's cousin-in-law, who was hospitalized because of diabetes. Well, the day I visited him was his 4th day being hospitalized there. And how we saw his condition made me feel so sad. He breathed throughout his mouth and throat using kind of oxygen ventilator (Idk what the equipment named in the hospital?). It has been 4 days since he was unconscious. He was so thin, I could even see his ribs every time he tried to inhale and it has been 4 days he had to do that way for respiration, can you imagine that?

I visited him at 3 pm until 4 pm, and after we went home, by 7 pm we got the news that he passed away. He died 2 hours after my visiting. There was no regret at at all to visit him right before he died, because actually my mum and I have already had a schedule to go somewhere, but we cancelled it as we knew that my uncle got worse and worse, I hope before he died he was still conscious that his relatives still cared for him and saw him before he is gone.

The following day when my family and I went to his funeral, we got the news that other cousin of my mum is having stage 4 breast cancer. So we decided to visit her after the funeral (because it only took 15 minutes from the cemetery to her house).  She just got married 2 years ago and had a 6 months baby, who is now being taken care by her mum-in-law. She just got her breast surgery 5 months ago. And you know what? When we saw her condition, God, can you imagine how she is suffering right now? As the cancer has spread to certain parts of her body, her spine's even broken (bcs the breast cancer tends to spread to the bones, lungs, chest wall, and brain), and the cancer has made her body (her chest) so stiff, she could no longer to tilt her body because it is very great pain. And it's more sorrowful that 2 months after she gave birth, she cannot see her baby anymore (it's dangerous to let the baby near her.). As I see her condition, I just hope the best for her.

These previous days remind me again and again to always be grateful, grateful, and grateful.

How the terminally ill patients in hospital are dying to survive for next second, next minute, next hour make me so sad.

The only thing they have is hope; a breath of fresh air, a glimpse of miracle to live.

And as a young woman, how can I see young mother is suffering and longing to hug her little baby for the rest of her days. It makes me reflecting my life to use our life to serve others more, to love others more.

If you read this post in a healthy condition, you can sit, stand up without feeling any pain in your body, you are abundant with miracles. You have no idea, there are a lot of people out there who desperately hope just to live their life to wake up, walk, laugh, eat, even to sleep and breath without feeling any pain.

Friends, life isn't that long.
Let us live our life as well as possible; in small examples to eat well, sleep well, work well, are the form of how we appreciate life God has given us. Spread the love as much as we can, remove the hatred from our heart, and serve others many more.

You might not know that your little caring may be the light for the people who are being in their deepest despair & darkest hours.

I like the Indonesian song titled "Hidup ini adalah Kesempatan" or in English means "This Life is an Opportunity."