A Cup of Fear; Finding Rest

"Find rest my soul, in Christ alone."

Do we get weary? and do we need some rest and comfort? Of course not for our physical body, but our soul.

As a little child, I used to share all of my anxieties with my close friends and it set me a little bit free inside, just at least it let you forget your burdens for awhile. But as a grown up person, you'll see your friends have their own business and think that your anxiety and your story just a burden for them. It seems that we don't have any place to share, and thinking that we are walking alone without any direction.

I love the lyrics of Still song which says "Find rest my soul, in Christ alone."

 And also the Palmist sings
"Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken... Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him." – Psalm 62:1-2,5

I realize it takes whole years to be content, and I do still in the process of learning. I thank God that He never gets tired of listening my anxieties and wearies everyday through the prayers. I often cry when telling all of my burdens with Him. The result is time by the time, I can overcome every anxiety or jealousy inside me. I find peace in my heart. And I know it's how God comforts me by putting His peace in me. Nothing in this world can really become a truly shelter and comfort for our soul. We need "a rock" shelter, "a rock" fortress and "a rock" comfort that cannot be shaken and we can find it in Him.

Friends, when I'm writing this post, I'm so anxious. There are many tasks behind me that I think they are out of my control. Such my new restaurant, my tasks at office that I don't know where all of these things could ever lead me. My mom often tells me that I should not start my business at this early as I have cost much money to build this. And yesterday I just opened my restaurant and only got one customer, it made me worried. I cried to God to help me, I'm afraid, I'm so afraid that my employee would get saturated and decided to resign (several months I was looking for the right person, I think he is now the one, and he is the first). I'm afraid that it would not run as my expectations, I'm afraid of disappointing my parents, disappointing my employee, and one thing that burden my soul "Have I been walking the wrong path? Is it really the Lord's way for me?"

And the Lord reminded me back to the time when I was feeling like this way before; facing the giants that I seemed not to enable endure any longer, but now everything I used to fear just goes well now and everything is just fine.

And I remember the short story of my friend who told me about A Cup of Fear. Adults even children must enable to hold a cup of water, because a cup is thin, it's not heavy at all. It's also not a burden to hold that cup for 5 or 10 minutes. But it can be a burden for sure and cause your hands cramp if we hold that cup for a day, two days, or a week. That's a nice example and analogy of our fear.

I sometimes "lord" over Him, I mutter over a little thing that I'm not brave enough to hold. But if we ever see that this big universe; the earth, the galaxy, the large sea, the planet, the storm, and all of the living beings in the world are under One Control, then why I just cannot rest my soul to Him? My fear is just a cup, not a cup I think but a spoon compared to this great universe.

Friends, in this hectic world, we are sometimes demanded to be seen established, and like in my case I forget that this is not about me. God never demand me to be seen "perfect, success, or established", though I don't condemn that success or being established is the form of God's blessing for us. 

For me, life offers many variables, and every variable and choice that we make has its own risk, and cause-and-effect. Let's take a look at Jonah's story in Bible; when God asked him to preach to Nineveh, Jonah decided to make his own choice to run away from God in the opposite direction of Nineveh. But as how God's will had to be fulfilled, God sent the big fish to swallow him and sent him by the shore of Nineveh. 

So isn't more important to knowing that God's will be fulfilled in every variable and our choice we make?

https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-stories/jonah-and-the-whale.html

My soul just need a rest in Him, to knowing that He holds me is enough.

Psalm 42:1-6 As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. 

And as God offer us His shoulder to all of our burdens (Matt. 11:28) Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Do we open up our heart to rest in Him  throughout our life?

As I'm writing this, I'm trying so hard to surrender; to letting go all of personal expectation, and all of my personal ambitions ------ of course it's not in the negative sense that we have to giving up. But trying to apply God's will be done not my will be done, and let the rest of our work to Him though I cannot see what the future holds.

I'm not expert at finding happiness but may His peace be with us and stay in our mind.

"Once we have peace, we no longer need to seek happiness."

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