Cut off The Chain of Hate

I don't deny that "love my enemies" is the hardest law I'm trying to deal with in whole of my life, do you?
And that's so sad knowing that the ones that I hardly forgive is my "closest" friends or family instead of strangers I've just met.
It is not a strange view either for believers to hate their own parents, or beloved friends, including me.
It seems the Word of God which says "love your neighbor because God has loved you first" is not enough to be the guidelines for us.


As I try to practice it, I would like to share what I'm trying to deal with it.


1. Write Their Kindness on A Stone, while Write Their Badness In The Sand

You know the only reasons why I don't want to dedicate my writings for human? Because sometimes I'm sick of them. I'm hurt by the persons I trust & love the most. And I realize the only person that never hurt me is God Himself. I'm afraid that once I admire people (even my future husband) and one day they disappoint me, it would change my feelings. Since that I never want to rely my expectations on humans. And this is what I want to share, don't expect much on human, what hurt you is actually your own expectations on people. We live in imperfect world with imperfect creatures & imperfect situations and it's hardly impossible to compel people to meet our expectations perfectly.

And when your beloved ones ever hurt you, read the story  click here

If you would like to know the story here is :

 Sand and Stone!

A story tells of two friends who were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, she wrote in the sand:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE"

They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but her friend saved her. After she recovered from the near drowning, she wrote on a stone:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE"

The friend, who had slapped and saved her best friend, asked her, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand, where the winds of forgiveness can erase it, but when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, so no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BLESSINGS IN STONE.

That happens to me too when my beloved ones hurt me. As a sinner of course it takes some times for me to forgive them, often it needs a day or days or even months to contemplate. And what makes me more easily to forgive them is I always try to remember the good times I have with them, their kindness on me, and the love they gave me. It slowly but surely cure my broken heart.  

2. Letting Go The PAIN; It's Okay To Be Alone

I think it's okay when you are hurt and need to be alone for some time. While my rage increased and slowly faded time by time, I take some time alone to pray.

I think there is a misconception in our society, that we forgive the mistake but never forget the mistake people make. And it results that it's impossible for us to truly forgive them, because we still label the people by the sin they did.

FORGET The PAIN means You HIDE AWAY the PAIN

FORGIVE The PAIN means YOU LETTING GO The PAIN

The one thing I can learn is Don't Hide Away your Hatred, you have to LETTING IT GO by confessing what you are feeling.

What I always do it is I always confess through prayer first. Be honest to God what you are feeling, you can tell Him and honest that you are hurt. You may confess to God that you hate them so much seems you wanna slap them in the face but you can't.  It's okay to cry alone while you are telling Him your feelings just like you tell your sister. Remember when you are telling the truth, God will not judge you, He is listening you patiently as your beloved father. And in the end, ask Him to put His peace on your mind and your heart and take a rest for awhile. Time will heal your wound, time will.


And these are some tips from me when you are faced with disappointment and hurt :

* DON'T SPEAK WHILE YOU ARE IN ANGER : when you are in anger, you are not under control of yourself.  Remember when Jesus was executed, He kept silent and did not say a word to curse His creatures. You will be thankful tomorrow to yourself that you can refrain at that time. 

* WHEN YOU ARE IN HURT, INSTEAD OF CURSING, PRAY GOOD THINGS IN SILENT : Did you ever know the sincere worship comes through sadness or tears? Because in hard times, the inside of people's heart are genuine, and this is the right time for you to lift up your prayers. My earthly father often hurt me, but when I'm crying over what he did to me, I learn to pray that one day God will touch his heart and strengthen my heart. And I believe that God will hear my prayers. 

Well, as I'm writing this post, I'm little bit in anger. I know my self well, when I'm angry, I can be much cruel than devils in spoken-words, that is why I decide to write everything on my mind. You can try this one too; writing diaries. It sounds old, doesn't it? But it works on me in that way to learn controlling my emotions.  😀

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