Tuesday, November 27, 2018

November 27, 2018

King's beloved daughter

pic by elisamorgan.com


Jawab Yesus: "Kerajaan-Ku  bukan dari dunia ini; jika Kerajaan-Ku dari dunia ini, pasti hamba-hamba-Ku telah melawan, supaya Aku jangan diserahkan kepada orang Yahudi, akan tetapi Kerajaan-Ku bukan dari sini." (Yohanes 18:36)

Pada waktu kemarin misa menurut gue menarik banget untuk bacaan Injil dari kitab Yohanes. Injil kemarin menceritakan ketika Yesus diadili di hadapan Pontius Pilatus untuk disalibkan, dan Pilatus menanyakan apakah Yesus adalah raja orang Yahudi, dan secara tersirat menerangkan bahwa sebenarnya Yesus itu Raja yang bahkan kedudukannya jauh jauh lebih tinggi dari Pilatus BUT Dia nggak pernah menganggap bahwa "dunia" ini yang notabene Dia ciptakan sebagai kepunyaanNya atau bahkan Rajanya.

Interesting..............

Kalau kalian cewek, gue yakin banget pasti nggak asing sama drama korea, film ataupun cerita di dunia nyata yang menceritakan tentang raja, kolongmerat atau CEO yang down to earth nikah sama cewek biasa-biasa aja. Contohnya mungkin drakor Boys over Flowers, Goblin, atau film yang lagi booming Crazy Rich Asians, atau bahkan di real life kayak kisah cinta Megan Markle & Pangeran Harry, yang mana Meghan bahkan cewek mix Afro-Amerika, dan bukan dari kalangan bangsawan tapi dipersunting sama anak dari kerajaan Inggris. Pernikahan Meghan pun berbulan-bulan disiarin di berita. Dan mungkin sebagian besar cewek mengidam-idamkan sesosok pangeran tampan / anak kolongmerat yang bakalan mempersunting kita. Yah kalau kebanyak nonton drama kayak gue gini mungkin hal itu bikin banyak insecure kali ya 😂😂. 
Tapi did you ever realize??,, 

Setiap gue baca Alkitab yang selalu bikin gue amazed & confident itu untuk selalu menyadari bahwa sebenarnya kenyataannya kita ini memang anak Raja; 

we are truly the children of The KING, friends. 

Dan ayat di atas ketika Yesus bilang "Kerajaan-Ku  bukan dari dunia ini;" itu POWERFUL banget buat gue. Dan jujur gue selalu rasanya terharu ketika merenungkan wow, my Heavenly Father is the King, He is Rich, He is Powerful, He has the Kingdom yet so Humble and Selfless. 

“Karena kamu telah mengenal kasih karunia Tuhan kita Yesus Kristus, bahwa Ia, yang oleh karena kamu menjadi miskin, sekalipun Ia kaya, supaya kamu menjadi kaya oleh karena kemiskinan-Nya.” (2 Korintus 8: 9)

Pernahkan nggak sih kalian lihat Raja dari dunia ini yang hidupnya nggak mevvah? tapi Yesus yang gue bahkan selalu mikirin, Dia itu capek-capek buat dunia ini tapi nggak pernah sedikitpun klaim Dia yang memilik semua ini, menurut gue it's beyond amazing, and no one like Him, He deserve the best of us. 

Apalagi kalau gue baca Alkitab kisah tentang Raja Salomo yang kekayaannya WOW; yang bisa kita lihat dari Kitab 1 Raja-Raja 10:14-29. Raja Ayub yang punya ternak nggak ngerti lagi ngerawatnya kayak gimana sangking banyaknya 😂😂 ataupun Raja Arab, dan kerajaan Inggris yang punya tahta; setiap mata tertuju pada Kate Middleton, Ratu Elizabeth ataupun Prince George yang masih kecil, juga Bill Gates. We have to realize guys that
  
our Father is the one who gave them the wealth. So, we are truly RICH in HIM.

(Efesus 1:5) Dalam kasih Ia telah menentukan kita dari semula oleh Yesus Kristus untuk menjadi anak-anak-Nya, sesuai dengan kerelaan kehendak-Nya.

Dapatkah seorang perempuan melupakan bayinya, sehingga ia tidak menyayangi anak dari kandungannya? Sekalipun dia melupakannya, AKU tidak akan melupakan engkau.” (Yesaya 49:15).

Dan menurut gue identitas Tuhan yang diberikan kita itu nggak main-main. Bayangin deh, ketika kalian mungkin diangkat jadi staff kerajaan atau kepresidenan pasti senengnya & bangganya luar biasa kan. Apalagi kalau diangkat jadi staff kerajaan surga, gue pun jadi office girl di surga udah pasti bahagia; sampe-sampe Raja Daud yang raja kaya raya aja masih bisa bilang lebih baik jadi "penjaga pintu" di surga daripada harus diam di kemah orang fasik. Dan seharusnya kita sadar orang sekaya raja Daud masih bisa menggambarkan bahwa jadi penjaga pintu surga itu jauh lebih baik. Bisa bayanginkan pasti surga itu tempat yang bener-bener nggak bisa dilukiskan keindahannya.

Sebab lebih baik satu hari di pelataran-Mu dari pada seribu hari di tempat lain; lebih baik berdiri di ambang pintu rumah Allahku dari pada diam di kemah-kemah orang fasik. Mazmur 84:10-11 

Kalau di bahasa inggrisnya Psalm 84:10 "I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked."

Tapi yang menarik justru identitas yang Tuhan kasih ke kita bukan lagi hamba ataupun bawahan, tapi benar-benar "anak", tanpa kita melakukan apapun Tuhan udah klaim kalau kita itu anakNya. Yes we can proudly say that we are His Children. Dan kita pasti bisa tau kalau batasan anak sama ayah itu hampir nggak ada. Jangankan masalah warisan, bahkan nyawa pun bisa dipertaruhkan demi anaknya sendiri, exactly the same dengan apa yang Yesus lakuin ke kita.

Dan sebagian orang mungkin merasa aneh, kenapa Tuhan yang menciptakan dunia ini justru harus menderita? kenapa juga Dia nggak memanggil balatentara surganya buat buktiin langsung kalau He is The King of The Universe? Mungkin kalau kalian pernah nonton Thor Ragnarok, itu hampir mirip banget sama Yesus. Thor itu ahli waris dari planet Asgardian. Bapaknya Thor itu raja, dan Thor anak sulung yang mewarisi tahta bapaknya. Tapi ketika Thor nyasar ke planet lain, Thor justru ditawan, karena apa? Karena dia orang asing di planet itu, namun ketika Thor kembali sama rakyatnya dia sangat dihormati. Sama seperti Yesus, Dia orang asing di planet sini karena sejatinya Tuhan itu kudus, dan isi dari dunia ini sudah jauh dari kekudusan Tuhan, kita semua udah jatuh; oleh sebab itu Tuhan nggak bisa bersahabat dengan dunia ini. Dan kalaupun Tuhan menyelamatkan diri pada saat mau disalib, itu tandanya pekerjaan Tuhan tidak selesai. Dan kita tetap tinggal di dalam dosa & Tuhan tidak bisa mengalahkan maut, sebab Dia harus masuk ke dalam maut untuk bisa nyelamatin anak-Nya.

Dan menurut gue itu amat penting untuk kita terus menyadari jati diri & identitas kita sesungguhnya bahwa kita adalah anak dari yang punya segala universe. Dan itu adalah kebenaran yang Iblis selalu coba manipulasi dan buat kita insecure. Kita Kaya, Kita Berharga, and we are the apple of the Creator of all of this universe. 

Dan semoga kita juga bisa terus belajar menghargai diri kita & orang lain bukan semata-mata karena kita deserve to be honored, atau karena orang lain melakukan sesuatu. Tapi karena kita tau manusia sudah ditebus sama Yesus sendiri dan kita semua anak di mata Tuhan. Amin

Thursday, November 22, 2018

November 22, 2018

Arti Sakral Pernikahan



Marriage is sacred, but nowadays marriage seems to lose its sacred meaning...

Minggu ini lagi booming banget dengan perceraian salah satu rumah tangga artis papan atas. Yap sebenarnya pasti sudah biasa banget ya denger artis bercerai itu, tapi yang buat heboh adalah, rumah tangga artis ini terkenal paling adem, apalagi baru punya anak yang masih kecil & lucu banget, yap perceraian Gading & Gisel.
Gue sendiri sebagai kristiani sungguh menyayangkan perceraian keluarga mereka.

Jaman sekarang pernikahan seakan kehilangan kesakralannya. Padahal kalau kita inget di altar kita bukan berjanji untuk manusia, kita berjanji dihadapan Tuhan sendiri. Jadi ketika kita  berkomitmen di depan altar & pendeta sebagai saksi sah Kristus, sebenernya secara nggak langsung kita berjanji di hadapan Tuhan..

Gue pribadi belum menikah, tapi gue juga belajar untuk consider ketika gue berpacaran, gue berpacaran atas landasan Tuhan--- dimana gue menjadikan pasangan gue sebagai sarana untuk lebih seperti Kristus.

TAPI

yang perlu kita inget, seperti Kristus itu justru yang susah-susah 😂😂 dari situ, gue yang selalu  dominan harus belajar menghormati pasangan gue yang mana gue paling nggak bisa tunduk sama orang apalagi cowok.

Karena untuk menjadi seperti Kristus, kita perlu ditempatkan di situasi dimana kita bisa memilih untuk tidak menjadi seperti Dia.

Faktor perceraian pasti banyak entah masalah ekonomi, keluarga, ataupun ketidakcocokan. Menurut gue pribadi nggak ada yang namanya 2 pribadi berbeda bisa cocok. Kita sama orang tua pun belum tentu cocok, apalagi sama pasangan yang dibesarkan dengan background ataupun petuah-petuah berbeda, karena hakikatnya kecocokan itu PROSES belajar----kecuali kalau memang sudah masalah prinsip yang melenceng dari Alkitab, say big no for it.

Gue sendiri pernah punya hubungan sama orang yang bisa dibilang "bad boy", dia minum, ngerokok, emosian, dan melakukan hal-hal lain yang melenceng dari Alkitab. Gue sendiri sempet stuck karena udah merasa nyaman & nyambung, walau di samping sisi gue sadar ini nggak mungkin sehat. Dan terakhir gue benar-benar bisa melepaskan ketika dia bilang ke gue bahwa gue tinggal di dunia, jadi jangan terlalu bertuhan banget. Disitu gue udah mikir kalau ini udah menyangkut masalah prinsip dan gue nggak bisa menyatu untuk hal itu, akhirnya gue mundur. Untuk kalian yang masih tahap pacaran dan mau ke jenjang pernikahan, pertimbangkanlah untuk pertama kali masalah prinsip itu, jika prinsip nggak bisa menyatu for sure your marriage will be like a battle field. Inget terang nggak akan bisa menyatu dengan gelap.

Dan ketika kita jenuh ataupun merasa sudah nggak sanggup dan ingin bercerai, cobalah berpkir ketika kita melakukan itu, yang kita sakiti bukan hanya pasangan, anak/ keluarga tapi juga Tuhan sendiri.

Gue menemukan beberapa keluarga dekat gue yang suaminya otoriter, selingkuh, tapi wanita ini tetap bertahan, semata-mata karena dia tau itu salib yang harus dia pikul. Kalau dia memutuskan untuk bercerai itu tandanya dia nggak ikut menanggung salib bersama Tuhan.

Dan ini yang gue lagi proses untuk terus belajar sebelum menikah:

1. PERNIKAHAN BERARTI learning to be SELFLESS. 

Hal ini adalah hal tersulit yang gue lakuin. Gue dulu kalau pacaran selalu harus tentang gue, contoh kecil aja ketika dulu gue sempat LDR, cowok gue harus stand by nemenin gue via phone sampai malem sebelum gue tidur karena gue kadang agak takut untuk tidur sendiri. Pernah seminggu gue hampir putus gara-gara dia selalu ninggalin gue tidur duluan gara-gara kecapean. Pagi-paginya langsung deh gue marah-marah minta putus 😂😂. Tapi selang waktu gue mulai mengurangi hal itu. Dan ketika gue butuh temen tapi pasangan gue lagi berhalangan/ capek gue sekarang udah mulai melonggarkan.

2. PERNIKAHAN BERARTI SACRIFICE. 

Untuk mempertahankan sesuatu harus ada pengorbanan. Kalian tau mungkin banyak pernikahan yang hancur karena ekonomi atau saat suami nggak bisa memenuhi finasial keluarga. Dulu gue begitu mengharapan laki-laki yang harus sedian ini itu bahkan jajan gue. Ketika cowok gue nggak bisa memenuhi ekspektasi gue, gue pasti langsung ngambek dan marah. Tapi gue sadar ketika Tuhan menegur gue bahwa gue harus berpengharapan sama Tuhan. Puji Tuhan cowok gue sangat bertuhan dan bekerja keras itu yang bisa membuat gue lama kelamaan yakin kalau gue harus bersandar sama Tuhan bukan cowok gue.   Dan gue selalu menanamkan dalam mind-set gue kalau gue nggak bisa mengharapkan suami gue kelak adalah sumber bahagia gue, tapi sumber bahagia gue adalah Tuhan sendiri.

Pernikah itu pengorbanan. Semenjak itu gue harus berfikir berkorban juga dari usaha ataupun berkorban untuk "menanggakan ego" gue sendiri.

3. PERNIKAHAN ITU IBADAH. 

Banyak yang memutuskan nikah muda karena itu adalah Ibadah. Tapi apa kita bener-bener paham IBADAH yang dimaksud ini apa? IBADAH itu nggak mudah, we have to empty our-self, our vessel in order God can take control through our marriage. Kalau kalian punya motivasi menikah karena ibadah, kita harus siap-siap untuk mengosokan diri kita, supaya Tuhan yang mengambil ahli dari pernikah ini. Masalah apapun itu akan lebih mudah kalau landasan kita Tuhan.

*Ketika kita nggak yakin sama suami kita & ekonomi lagi terpuruk, disitu kita dihadapkan pilihan untuk bercerai karena kita deserve someone better atau tetap bertahan karena kita tahu Tuhan sedang mengajarkan kita untuk totally surrender dan melihat Tuhan bekerja  melalui masalah hidup kita? Dan agar kita tidak bergantung pada suami?

*Ketika cinta kita perlahan mulai luntur, ada someone more lovingly di depan mata, kita dihadapkan pilihan untuk memilih "cinta (sesaat)" kita atau terus bertahan & meminta pertolongan Tuhan lagi agar cinta kita terus bertumbuh sesuai dengan kehendak Tuhan?
 
*Ketika kita selalu bertengkar karena ketidakcocokan / argumen kita, apakah kita belajar untuk more to be selfless supaya tetap terus bertahan akan janji kita yang kita ucapkan ke Tuhan?

Pikirkan pernikahan itu nggak semata-mata ngucap janji di Altar, resepsi, honeymoon then it finish. No, kita berporses belajar sampai akhir hidup. Walaupun negara mengijinkan kita untuk bercerai, tapi cobalah bertahan & bawa Tuhan lagi ke dalam hubungan kita. Karena Tuhan bisa memulihkan semua yang retak, KALAU kita mengizinkan Tuhan masuk ke dalam pernikaha kita. Mungkin itu yang dinamakan PERNIKAHAN adalah IBADAH.

Oh iya tips lagi. Jangan sering-sering liat pernikahan di Instagram kalau bisa bikin insecure. Create our own, and let our mariage be a blessing for others and be His-story. 

Hendaklah engkau setia sampai mati, dan Aku akan mengaruniakan kepadamu mahkota kehidupan” (Wahyu 2:10c) 

Berbahagialah orang yang bertahan dalam pencobaan, sebab apabila ia sudah tahan uji, ia akan menerima mahkota kehidupan yang dijanjikan Allah kepada barangsiapa yang mengasihi Dia. (Yakobus 1:12)

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

November 14, 2018

Overcome Insecurity

pic by Healthista

...........And who I serve to?

Have you ever felt every after strolling your instagram feeds become so insecure over yourself? You'll see that most of perfect people inundated on your instagram; already established, going aboard every vacation, running a successful company, having a romantic anniversary with their family & child, and you are feeling a step backward among your friends. Honestly, I did, and it happened every time.

As insecurity becomes main issues that haunted me almost everyday; Comparing Appearances, Fame & Recognition, Achievements become the most influential factors that I'm trying to dealing with e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y. here I would like to share several practices to shift my mindset.

1. KNOWING YOUR IDENTITY

The most important thing is first you have to know your "true" identity here.

First of all, we have to realize who we are; we are God's precious children, regardless of who we are, what we have done, and how or appearance is .

Because our value & identification come from Him, and we are not labelled by the things we have done in this world.

We are not created for own personal purpose, we are here created to one purpose --- for God's pleasure, despite in different way.

We have to value our self based on God's view on us. When we focus on pleasing God through your works, it will make us calmer; because we know who we serve. If you just like me in the past that doubt who you are, and feeling unworthy, these words below what God is speaking forward to you about your identity right now

I am the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus (2 Cor. 5:21).

I am a child of God (John 1 :1 2).

I am a slave of righteousness (Romans 6:18).

I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear his fruit (John 1 5:1 6).

I am a joint-heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with him (Romans 8:17).

I am joined to the Lord and am one spirit with Him (1 Cor. 6:17).

I am a new creation (2 Cor.5:17).

I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:1 8,19).

I am chosen of God, holy, and dearly loved (Colossians 3:1 2).

I am a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession to proclaim the excellencies of Him (1 Peter 2:9,10).

I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:1 1).

I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm (Ephesians 2:6).

I am an enemy of the devil (1 Peter 5:8).

I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:1 8).

I am not in a losing battle, the Lord shall fight for me and I shall hold my peace (Exodus 1 4:14).

I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus (Romans 8:37).

I am not weak, for the Lord gives strength to His people (Psalm 29: 1 1).

I am not bound, for the Son has set me free (John 8:36). I am favored, not cursed (Proverbs 8:35).

I am a success, not a failure (Joshua 1 :8).

I am a blessing, not a burden (Genesis 22:17-18).

I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14).

I am not of those that shrink back (Hebrews 10:39).

I am the head, not the tail (Deut. 28: 1 3).

I am above, not beneath (Deut. 28: 1 3).

I am the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:1 3).

I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 1 39: 14).

I am the apple of God's eye (Deut. 32:10).

I am a lender, not a borrower (Deut. 1 5:6).

I am fruitful, not barren (2 Peter 1 :8; Exodus 23:26).

I am a victor, not a victim (1 John 5:4).

I am blessed in everything I put my hand to (Deut. 28:8).

I am a child of joy, not sorrow (Isaiah 61 :3).

I am a divine project, not an abandoned one (Philippians 1 :6).

I am blessed coming in and blessed going out (Deut. 28:6).

I am blessed in the city and blessed in the country (Deut. 28:3)

I am a child of destiny, not of accident (Jer. 1 :5).

I am like Christ in this world (1 John 4:17).
2. DON'T COMPARE

What can be compared between bird & fish? Or maybe between glass and plate? They are different from the way they are used, their function, or the way they live. You cannot say that the birds are more unique, smart or important compared to fishes and also you cannot say that the glass is more functional compared to plate; as they are designed to different function.

 If we ever realized that, we should be more aware that we all are unique, and no man like us.

I used to think that my friends who came from medicine major are smarter than me, or maybe some friends who now are sitting in the country ministry with an "important & high" position are much more better than me.

God created us to fulfill each element of His purpose. And no man ever like you and me, and only you who can fulfill God's purpose which has been designed for you.

I used to think that the world was running by the works of human itself. I'm so amazed how people ever that smart to create cars, airplane, or discovering the island or medicine.

But God reminded me through my colleague at office that every wisdom comes from above. Imagine that if all the people were a doctor, so who would run a school to teach the generation?  or who would clean the school or hospital if there were no office boy at all?

That's why God gives us different talent in order that we can complement each other. We are not a mistake. God created every person to be a "head" in different way. But it's our choice to hone the skill God gave us.

And what's more important is in our little works, God is still glorified.   

3. HIS TIME NOT YOURS

I have just knew in my 23rd age becomes the most crucial period; after graduating some of our friends have settled in corporate company with high salaries and good position. Some of them have succeed in running their own business, while sometimes I'm feelin still stuck in this stage, my business is still not yet established, sometimes I'm afraid can it be bigger someday? I have felt that I have been working so hard but there is no satisfying result.

 BUTTTTTTTTTTTT

I have seen and become the witness of how my neighbor can be something from nothing. She is now about 35/40 years. She divorced with her husband around 10 years ago because of domestic abuse or family violence that made her became a single parent. She did not have any degree to apply to company so she did anything to support her child; selling the market snacks, it sold really cheap but she had to rent a house and pay the school fee alone. Time by time, she married with a man with no purpose either (I mean here, the man is not established yet) but then God can change her life. As her ups-and-downs she has been through, now she is currently running nasi padang restaurant with big income a day. She now has a car, her own house in by the age at 40.

It realized me that we have our own time zone. Life is not a race. Sometimes our friends have been a step forward from us but it's okay, just focus on the path that God has placed you; be something that God has planned for you, and God will fulfill it in His time.

Maybe we can see that our friends' life seem normal, without any struggling, but you still question your condition. The storms seem not over yet from your life, you are in your lowest point of your life.

But you know, I learn a lot from what I've been through that everyone's trial is different, and God concern more on shaping & preparing our personality and characters through the trials.

And when we have truly surrendered, Go will finish the rest.

Put your target in His time, and He definitely makes it perfect in His timing.

And in the end who I serve to? If we know exactly who we serve to, we will do it with all our heart. And I believe whatever our calling, God will take attention to even the smallest work of us. 

Amen

http://www.bethelchandler.com/hp_wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/i-am-confession-sheet.pdf

Sunday, October 28, 2018

October 28, 2018

Mengenal Tuhan lewat Ujian; 2018 Rewind



In 3 months, 2018 will be over soon. As I throw back to 2017 & 2018 I think these years are the years of full tested.

Awal 2017 gue harus menyelesaikan skripsi hanya dalam tenggang waktu 5 bulan. Setelah itu gue kerja di kantor pertama dan resign hanya dalam kurun waktu 3 hari yang sampai sekarang gue juga nggak ngerti kenapa gue resign 😂. Setelah itu bokap gue terlalu bersemangat buat bantuin cari pekerjaan lewat Job Fair and I got nothing tapi capek iya. Sempet tes di beberapa perusahaan dan gagal juga udah jauh-jauh, dan gue inget banget di tengah kota Jakarta gue sampe nangis sendirian di pinggir jalan ternyata hidup sekeras ini. Bisnis kecil-kecilan gue yang gue rintis dari tahun 2016 juga harus gulung tikar karena digusur dan yang lebih parah lagi keluarga gue ditipu sama mandor untuk renovasi rumah yang menyebabkan kerugian kurang lebih 50 juta.

Nggak hanya itu, ketika rumah selesai direnovasi untuk dibuat kos-kosan kita harus kebobolan maling 2 kali dan yang lebih parah maling itu sampai berani buat bobolin pintu semua rusak. Can you imagine? Gue nggak pernah ngerasain langsung / melihat langsung kriminalitas kaya gitu and I was so shocked. Laptop anak kos hilang dan gue harus mengganti kerugian mereka, dan akhirnya kita tutup kos itu untuk beberapa minggu.  Tapi gue bersyukur setidaknya anak kos nggak kenapa-kenapa karena kos itu buat perempuan dan mungkin gue bakal stress sejadi-jadinya kalau sampai anak orang kenapa-kenapa.

Nggak sampai disitu, kita buka usaha juga nggak berjalan baik. Karena gue masih kerja kantoran gue memutuskan buat menyewa orang, pertama gue dikhianati dia nggak mau dateng dan alasan ini itu padahal baru 3 hari, yang kedua juga malah udah kita kasih tempat tinggal dan kabur tengah malem ninggalin surat. I'm so damn tired. Nggak hanya itu sampai detik gue ngetik ini nenek gue harus dirawat di RS udah hampir sebulan and it cost a lot because my father have resigned. Sempet jadi polemik keluarga antara keluarga bokap dan keluarga gue. Karena bokap udah nggak kerja, bokap minta buat nenek gue untuk di rawat di rumah karena it will cost cheaper at least than in hospital. Tapi keluarga bokap gue kekeh minta di RS yang mana mereka mengira bokap gue masih punya dana buat biayain ibu nya.

Dan kalian tau rentan waktu gue ngalamin itu semua bener-bener pendek. Ketika satu selesai, satu muncul, dan begitulah tahun 2017 - 2018 yang gue inget overall adalah perjuangan & hati yang galau. Bahkan hang out sekali sama temen ke tempat makan aja udah menjadi hiburan banget banget buat gue.


TAPI ENTAH KENAPA......

Walaupun rasanya belum ada rasa istirahat even sampai detik ini, gue justru merasa Tuhan itu lebih dekat sama gue.

Dari dulu gue orangnya khawatiran banget masalah percintaan, kuliah, pekerjaan, I used to think after finding a job is enough. But no, hidup nggak sampai situ.

Ketika gue udah menyerah cari pekerjaan, tiba-tiba Tuhan kasih gue pekerjaan dengan sangat unpredictable lewat temen gue, setelah itu ketika kos-kosan sampai 2 kali kebobolan maling gue ngerasa Tuhan ngingetin gue lewat Ayub; bahwa hingga sampai Ayub bggak punya papa-apapun, dicobai penyakit, anak yang meniggal, kemalingan, rumah kebakaran, satu yang tetep Tuhan pegang; TUHAN JAGA AYUB.
Dan yang lebih membuat gue wow banget, ketika pegawai gue pada pergi gue sempet berfikir yaudahlah nanti aja mungkin belum waktunya, tapi tenyata Tuhan memperkenalkan gue lewat orang lain pedagang kelapa, yang sampai sekarang udah tepat sebulan bertahan😂😂.

Jujur sih gue belum tau kedepannya kaya gimana. Tapi bahkan melewati semuanya Tuhan justru meneguhkan hati gue dan mau menunjukan diriNya, kalau Dia dekat and seems He said for me that "it's okay child, this is under My control."

Ya begitulah semoga aja kedepannya lebih baik lagi

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

October 16, 2018

Cut off The Chain of Hate



I don't deny that "love my enemies" is the hardest law I'm trying to deal with in whole of my life, do you?
And that's so sad knowing that the ones that I hardly forgive is my "closest" friends or family instead of strangers I've just met.
It is not a strange view either for believers to hate their own parents, or beloved friends, including me.
It seems the Word of God which says "love your neighbor because God has loved you first" is not enough to be the guidelines for us.


As I try to practice it, I would like to share what I'm trying to deal with it.


1. Write Their Kindness on A Stone, while Write Their Badness In The Sand

You know the only reasons why I don't want to dedicate my writings for human? Because sometimes I'm sick of them. I'm hurt by the persons I trust & love the most. And I realize the only person that never hurt me is God Himself. I'm afraid that once I admire people (even my future husband) and one day they disappoint me, it would change my feelings. Since that I never want to rely my expectations on humans. And this is what I want to share, don't expect much on human, what hurt you is actually your own expectations on people. We live in imperfect world with imperfect creatures & imperfect situations and it's hardly impossible to compel people to meet our expectations perfectly.

And when your beloved ones ever hurt you, read the story  click here

If you would like to know the story here is :

 Sand and Stone!

A story tells of two friends who were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, she wrote in the sand:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE"

They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but her friend saved her. After she recovered from the near drowning, she wrote on a stone:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE"

The friend, who had slapped and saved her best friend, asked her, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand, where the winds of forgiveness can erase it, but when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, so no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BLESSINGS IN STONE.

That happens to me too when my beloved ones hurt me. As a sinner of course it takes some times for me to forgive them, often it needs a day or days or even months to contemplate. And what makes me more easily to forgive them is I always try to remember the good times I have with them, their kindness on me, and the love they gave me. It slowly but surely cure my broken heart.  

2. Letting Go The PAIN; It's Okay To Be Alone

I think it's okay when you are hurt and need to be alone for some time. While my rage increased and slowly faded time by time, I take some time alone to pray.

I think there is a misconception in our society, that we forgive the mistake but never forget the mistake people make. And it results that it's impossible for us to truly forgive them, because we still label the people by the sin they did.

FORGET The PAIN means You HIDE AWAY the PAIN
FORGIVE The PAIN means YOU LETTING GO The PAIN

The one thing I can learn is Don't Hide Away your Hatred, you have to LETTING IT GO by confessing what you are feeling.

What I always do it is I always confess through prayer first. Be honest to God what you are feeling, you can tell Him and honest that you are hurt. You may confess to God that you hate them so much seems you wanna slap them in the face but you can't.  It's okay to cry alone while you are telling Him your feelings just like you tell your sister. Remember when you are telling the truth, God will not judge you, He is listening you patiently as your beloved father. And in the end, ask Him to put His peace on your mind and your heart and take a rest for awhile. Time will heal your wound, time will.


And these are some tips from me when you are faced with disappointment and hurt :

* DON'T SPEAK WHILE YOU ARE IN ANGER : when you are in anger, you are not under control of yourself.  Remember when Jesus was executed, He kept silent and did not say a word to curse His creatures. You will be thankful tomorrow to yourself that you can refrain at that time. 

* WHEN YOU ARE IN HURT, INSTEAD OF CURSING, PRAY GOOD THINGS IN SILENT : Did you ever know the sincere worship comes through sadness or tears? Because in hard times, the inside of people's heart are genuine, and this is the right time for you to lift up your prayers. My earthly father often hurt me, but when I'm crying over what he did to me, I learn to pray that one day God will touch his heart and strengthen my heart. And I believe that God will hear my prayers. 

Well, as I'm writing this post, I'm little bit in anger. I know my self well, when I'm angry, I can be much cruel than devils in spoken-words, that is why I decide to write everything on my mind. You can try this one too; writing diaries. It sounds old, doesn't it? But it works on me in that way to learn controlling my emotions.  😀

Source : 1

Thursday, October 11, 2018

October 11, 2018

My First Encounter with Christ

I was born from a Catholic family. My mother is a devout Catholic, while my father does not have any religion, I think he is Buddhist hha but I never see him going to Vihara/ Monastery, and once he ever told my mother that he is interested in Christians, slowly I hope he will soon.

I have believed that Jesus is the Lord from a very little, but it seems I never have an intimate relationship with Him as a child; I just think He is a "far" Creator, while I'm only His creature.

I will tell the truth here. As a minority, I ever got discriminated by the age around 10 by my home-friends, until it ever crossed my mind to convert to other religion because at that time I was the only Christian and I was a little bit embarrassed as I was different from them. I remember the most that I said to my mom I wanted change my religion innocently as I think our country gives the privilege to the citizen to choose not my parents to determine it. But my mom never consider it as a serious thought (because at that time I was 10 😂) and she thought that it was joking, until now, praise the Lord that I still believe in Jesus. 😃

And when I graduated from elementary, I intended to enter the most favorite public school in my town, the school name is SMPN 19. I did not have any desire to enter another school except SMPN 19. And YESS I GOT REJECTED haha 😂. It broke my heart for a while until I entered to the most hated private school at that time because I knew that there were some friends from my elementary school that I avoided the most entered that school too. But what to be done, I had to go to school that time.

And what I can see now,

 That REJECTION was instead the BEGINNING of my FIRST ENCOUNTER with JESUS.


He is the sweetest I swear to you guys haha😂😂

My first year there was the most pathetic year for me. I did not have any good friends in class, feeling so alone moreover as most of people from that school came from rich family, it little bit made me uncomfortable. I was not smart either. I remember I got 20th rank in my middle semester of Junior High School there. I studied hard and met one of smart friends who invited me to study together and in final semester I got 7th rank and placed to favorite class at that time.

In that class I met Sisca, she is my good friend until now. Below is my picture with Sisca; she is the Chinese & the sweet one LOL 😂.


She is the one that brings me closer to Jesus.  Not only she often tells me about Jesus but she is the most patient person after my mother that I know. She is soft and every time I get upset with her, she always apologizes first. 3 words that I learn from her : Thank, Sorry, and If You Don't Mind (every time she asks a favor). Haha. I'm the most childish and grumpy one but she is so patient to be my friend. She is also the one who always tells & reminds me to read Bible so I can know Jesus closer and SMILE hha.She always smile in any circumstances. That's why I know she is the true follower of Jesus. And I can see clearly that Jesus rests in her.

I thank God so much to get me knowing her in my life.And you know through that most hated school I could enter to one of the most favorite public universities in Indonesia in last 2013.

I don't have any word to describe how sweet Jesus to me. Jesus is the one who knows me so well more than anyone in this world. And through that rejection He was trying to reach out to me. He sent my friend in order that He can get close with me. Because friends, if I ever imagine in SMPN 19, maybe I would never know Jesus as intimate as now if I ever got that school.

For everything I've been through, I've seen and felt Jesus's love for me through friends and experiences. I hope that whoever read this can be more sensitive that Jesus is close to you, He is longing to be with you and of course He has another incredible ways to reach out to everybody out there.

This is my first encounter with Him, what's yours? 😃😃 
October 11, 2018

Soul Surfer Movie; A Reflection

This week, my days were fulled by watching inspirational movies lol. Not without a reason, I think my faith is not always on fire. I know this not good, but I try to be honest here.
Reading Bible then just became my routinity, and I wish by watching movies, which most of them are based on true story, I hope that my faith will re-fire again and again.



This time I would like to tell you what I glean from Soul Surfer Movie. It's based on true story of Bethany Hamilton, who was an expert-surfer-teenager that was beaten by Shark while she was surfing and made her had to lose her one arm.

and here we go 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

1. He becomes COMPLETELY GREATER in OUR WEAKNESS

We all know exactly that in surfing sport, hands become the most crucial matter that all of the surfer should have. Can you imagine how to be a great surfer with one arm? That must be totally tough, huh?

But again, NOTHING is REALLY (IM)-POSSIBLE WITH GOD. Bethany herself has proven it.

You can watch first her video here

 


I take the concern on her words that when she asked God how to praise Him with surfing, God instead took one of her arm away.  

Of course as a human being, she was upset at first. People mock her, even she was afraid that no man ever loved her. But what make me so amazed that she does not give up, and who knows that in that accident God has prepared the most beautiful plan for her.

In her weakness, God becomes COMPLETELY GREAT. 

He must become GREATER; I must become LESS
(John 3:30)

You can read below all of her achievements that I got from wikipedia. 


Not only that, God use whole of her life to bless others through her struggling and her story. She can strengthen others who are in low & the same condition with her.

As she allow God to use her more, God has to take her one arm. She becomes God's hand to remind HIS children out there again and again through her story, that there is nothing we should be worried. In any condition, God still can use us.

And listen, there is none like you out there, God make each of us to one purpose that can only be fulfilled by yourself.

And yet in all of our DISABILITIES and INABILITY, GOD's POWER is PERFECTLY REVEALED ---- and It aims to show HOW MIGHTY our GOD is.

2. NOTHING we have LOST that GOD CANNOT REPLACE

I don't have any idea if  I were her. Just like her, I must be afraid that no man love a disable girl, I would not be a surfer again, or even what I could be with only one arm.

But as God does not want to owe a person; He will not take something from us if He cannot replace it (and of course we have nothing here, that all belongs to Him). God does not take her profession nor her "soul surfer";

She still becomes the most professional surfer with ONLY ONE ARM and GOD even BLESS her MORE and MORE; make her as A MOTIVATOR and gives her LOVE and HANDSOME CHILDREN.

***************** 

Through her story reminds me again, that we have to "empty" ourselves; our ego, our need to be honored, even our freedom so that God can work perfectly in us and His works bear the fruits through us. But then it remind me again that our God is so powerful, yes HE IS! and we will never get shame nor lack anything in His ways because when God takes something from us, God will replace multiply beyond we can imagine. 

Amen.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

October 09, 2018

Bersyukur, Perlukah?



Orang selalu bilang kalau kita bersyukur Tuhan akan memberikan kita lebih, tapi sebaliknya kalau kita nggak pernah bersyukur, bisa jadi justru akan diambil Tuhan.

Tapi nggak jarang orang bilang kalau kita nggak boleh selalu puas, karena kita akan stuck dan sulit untuk maju.

So, bersyukur, perlukah?

Aku memiliki anjing kesayangan namanya Boy, Boy selalu aku kasih makanan yang terbaik, tidur di dalam kamarku, selalu dimandiin sampe gendut & makmur. Nggak hanya itu, di saat anjing di sekitar rumah selalu dikurung entah diikat terus ataupun di dalam kandang, aku selalu ngajak Boy tiap pagi & sore keluar buat main, biar dia nggak jenuh.

Setiap pagi kita selalu ngeluarin Boy, kita lepas Boy tanpa tali dan pasti 20 menit setelah Boy di luar dia pulang lagi dan tidur, tapi lama kelamaan, Boy setelah dikeluarin malah nggak mau pulang & kabur terus. Akhirnya kalau pagi hari kita keluarin dia pasti selalu pakai tali dan harus sama kita, kalau nggak dia bakal kabur. Tapi nggak sampai disitu. Setelah jalan-jalan pagi kita pulang, dia pasti gonggong terus-terusan minta keluar terus-terusan, sampai akhirnya kita mutusin dia untuk ngebatesin ngajak dia keluar dan kita kerasin supaya dia kapok mau keluar dan bisa terbiasa di rumah. Karena anjing-anjing tetangga yang lain yang nggak pernah dikeluarin malah selalu diiket terus nggak pernah ngenggonggong dan nggak pernah berisik.

Sadar nggak kadang kita kaya gitu? terkadang Tuhan udah ngasih kita yang terbaik yang bisa Tuhan kasih ke kita, tapi bukannya bersyukur malah ngerengek ini ngerengek itu, minta lebih, udah dikasih lebih masih kurang lagi. Sampai akhirnya Tuhan ambil satu persatu yang Dia udah kasih ke kita.

Dari situ aku sadar mungkin ilustrasi dari pengalaman anjingku bisa membuat aku merenung tentang kebaikan Tuhan.

Dikala kita bersyukur, Tuhan pasti seneng dan malah dikasih lebih lagi lebih lagi, karena Tuhan tau kapasitas hati kita yang bisa nerima & menjaga pemberian Dia. Dan sama seperti anjingku, ketika kita nggak bersyukur, mungkinn Tuhan bisa ngebatasin, mengambil apa yang Dia kasih dan bahakn mungkin Tuhan bisa memakai cara "keras" semata-mata supaya kita bisa lebih dewasa dan merenungkan segala kebaikan Dia.


So, sudahkah kita bersyukur atas pekerjaan kita? memberikan yang terbaik di tempat kerja karena Tuhan udah kasih kita kerjaan.  Bersyukur atas keluarga yang Tuhan kasih, ataupun dari yang terkecil sudahkah kita bersyukur atas kesehatan yang Tuhan udah kasih dengan makan yang bener & tidur yang bener?


Hem jadi dapat aku simpulin bersyukur itu beda sama artian untuk selalu mencoba untuk lebih maju. Bersyukur bentuk dari we enjoy the life, kita menikmati masa-masa ups and downs kita, tapi nggak berarti untuk mematikan hasrat kita untuk maju, singkatnya nggak menggerutu.


Semoga kita selalu senantiasa bersyukur, karena semua yang baik yang datang ke kita bukan karena usaha kita, tapi semata-mata anugrah Tuhan.

Yakobus 1:17
Setiap pemberian yang baik dan setiap anugerah yang sempurna, datangnya dari atas.."

Monday, September 24, 2018

September 24, 2018

Kecewa dengan Gereja?



Aku mau sedikit curhat ni, pernah nggak kalian merasa kecewa dengan Gereja? Aku sendiri sih nggak pernah aktif di OMK ataupun PD dan sebagainya. Pernah sih ikut beberapa kali dan itu buat aku kecewa karena aku merasa mereka terlalu mengkelompok-kelompok, nggak membaur, ada juga yang kerjaannya ngomongin orang terus dan aku sempet mikir "komunitas gereja kok kaya gini sih?" itu yang ngebuat aku merasa ngejauhin komunitas gereja, karena banyak yang nggak bener dan tanpa disadari termasuk aku sendiri 😂😂😂

Sampai suatu ketika aku baca status yang isinya ngejelasin bahwa Gereja Tuhan itu ibarat bengkel. Yha kalian tau kalau bengkel isinya motor, mobil dan semua spear-part rusak yang perlu dibetulin. Yap itu juga devinisi dari Gereja, kalau Gereja juga ibarat bengkel dan Tuhan itu yang membetulkan. Jadi jangan heran kalau di gereja kita masih nemu banyak orang-orang yang "sakit", "rusak" ataupun banyak yang nggak benar, termasuk mungkin kita sendiri 😂😂

Yesus mendengarnya dan berkata kepada mereka: "Bukan orang sehat yang memerlukan tabib, tetapi orang sakit; Aku datang bukan untuk memanggil orang benar, melainkan orang berdosa." 
Marus 2:17

Sebuah refleksi kalau memang yang datang sama Tuhan itu memang orang-orang yang berdosa karena Tuhan udah bilang sendiri kalau orang sakit yang memerlukan tabib. But yep! sebesar apapun dosa kita, Tuhan sanggup untuk membetulkan kita! Dan kalau bisa kita juga harus bisa menjadi pembeda walau memang nggak mudah sama sekali. Kayaknya terlalu naif ya kalau aku bilang kita harus jadi pembeda? Yah aku sendiripun masih sering gagal setiap detiknya. Tapi inget gaes, bahkan nabi-nabi pun nggak semuanya orang  yang "pure suci", mereka pun pernah jatuh juga ke dalam dosa. Tapi sebesar apapun itu, para nabi tetap kembali lagi sama Tuhan.

Sekian curhatan singkat ini..

Sunday, September 23, 2018

September 23, 2018

Christian Songs List


I believe that God can speak through any media, no exception music. Do you ever feel that you are in a particular condition then listening to music and say that this music seems to speak for you? And I believe that God may give wisdom to the writer to convey His message. 

In this post I would like to share some Christian songs that I love to listen over and over again 😁
Not only because I like the rhythm, but also they have encouraging and touching lyrics.

Here we go.

1. Uplifting Songs through the Distress of Life

When Life Gets Broken by Sandi Patty



I just know this song several days ago. You know, there are some reasons that this song really encourage me. I face something broken in my life that I used to think "this is over, it's already bend, and it cannot be changed nor renewed again."  Yep most people must have ever known what is regretting something, but when I listen to this song there some parts of the lyrics that encourage me and think "ok, it's not over yet, it is under God's control".

When you make huge huge mistake, you seems to mess everything and even it leave you nothing. It's hard to get you through the day, you wish just escaped from the reality, and you wish to disappear, so  that you don't have to face such that suck thing. These words uplift me "He'll help you start all over again, When life gets broken".


'Cause when life gets broken, when you're in despair
He'll carry your burden when it's too much to bear
It's down in the valley where He'll give you strength
And there is nothing you have lost that He can't replace
He'll help you start all over again
When life gets broken

You hoped God would heal it, but the storm raged and raged
Now it's hard to imagine how you'll make it through the day
Weeks turn to years, time's passing you by
But you're still holding on to the how's and the why's

So get a glimpse of Jesus for He is right there with you
He knows just what you need 


Blessings By Laura Story 



Laura Story comes as my new favorite Christian singer, I even think does she just like me? because most of her songs just stand for me. This one "blessing" is my favorite too. Often, we misinterpret that blessing should always form in prosperity, pleasure, happiness, a content life. But how if our storms in life instead is how God showing His mercy? And how if our hardest night, illness are instead the way God wants us to be closer with Him?

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise


2. Encouraging Songs 

GRACE by Laura Story


And this one is also my favorite. I don't know why this truly depicts me. Just exactly the past couple months, i've been so envious with my dear friend, with his success, and it distracts my focus. I did not concern on God's path to me. I did not believe Him.

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things You do through me as great things I have done.
And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me
And hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.

I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up,
When I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound?"
And You answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."

At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged,
Knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve You? I know I don't deserve You.
And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.

I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up,
When I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound?"
And You answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."

You are so patient with me, Lord.
As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your grace really means.
The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary.
So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You
By giving up my life to you For all that You've given to me.

I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up,
When I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound?"
And You answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."



That to be continue. But 3 of those songs are my favorite and I don't know I just will they just speak for me. If you have any recommended good songs, don't hesitate to recommend it with me!
September 23, 2018

The Blind Side Movie; A Reflection




Do you know Michael Oher? A successful American footballer? Well this movie is inspired by his extraordinary life. Maybe this never crossed your mind, that a successful footballer like him was born from an extremely tough life.

You all got to watch the movie, it's so uplifting and inspiring. Here, some of reflections I gleaned from the movie.

1. There is a SURELY HOPE for you

A man comes from a broken home family. The mother was a drug & alcohol addicted, the father was murdered a couple days after the man born. He did not have any family or relative to rely on. So, he was adopted by several family, until he could go to school. He comes from the minority race- "colored" race with big body, and school surrounded by white people - the majority, so all people call him "Big Mike". But it seemed not enough, he was not smart either, he did not stand out in school, and some teachers underestimated him, and feeling so intimidated as minority. Until when he was feeling unwanted, he choose to escape and stay alone, but he did not have a home to stay even a friend to share with.

Do you think when you are in that condition, you can still think that you have a future hope? Well, maybe some of us will think that we will never have one. And of course for him, to enable surviving to live everyday has been a miracle.

And yep. It is the family background of Michael Oher, a successful American footballer.
 

I think his story is so inspiring. And I can see clearly through all of his weakness & circumstances, God's power is revealed & made perfect in all of his wicked life.


“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
(2 Corinthians 12:9)

Most of us might come from a normal family, a normal financial matter, a normal life compared to Mike Oher, but even so we are rarely grateful for where God has placed us. When life seems messed up, and the world seems to say that we can't, and it's too late for us, but no for God. There is nothing He can't change & He can't replace.

Through Oher's story, God reminded us, that He can do anything, He can CHANGE anything.



Turn Darkness into Light
Turn Failure into Victory
Turn Zero into Hero 
Turn Nothing into Something


20 years ago Michael Oher might be walking to nowhere. I'm sure he did not even think what he could be in the next 20 years, his next career, he just maybe thought about where he could sleep tonight, but who ever knows that God can lift him up by sending him the Tuohy's family.


2. LOVE has the POWER to CHANGE


So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
(1 corinthians 13:13)


I'm so amazed and ashamed at once on my self to see Tuohy's family (the white people family) who sincerely decide to adopt Michael Oher to be his beloved son, who at that time Michael Oher was in a very lowest condition. Moreover they know that Mike Oher does not come from the same race like they do. But they sincerely give him food, bed, clothes, and most importantly they give him love that Oher never got since he was a kid.
 

Oher, who used to be mute, turn into an open young man. The love that Tuohy gives can turn a stone into a soft cotton. He can smile, and most importantly he can feel God's love and knowing that he is precious, he is wanted, he is loved through the Tuohy's family.

Well, when I watch the movie, I thought to my self  "well, if I were there, I really wanna help Oher, but maybe I never be like Tuohy family." Then it reminded me again that there are still "Oher Jr" out there. Not all of us maybe can offer a house or share a room with the weak out there, but at least we can be a little light and a glimmer of love for the people who are in their lowest condition.

We never know that our little light could be a lamp for them to pass the darkness bridge in their life, so that through our little work, God is still glorified.


I remember the quote I found in IG that stated :

Jesus does not turn people into Christian,
He turns them into love

Woooww that simple words hit me to the core of my heart. As christians we proudly think that knowing & declaring Jesus as our Lord is enough. 
But in fact Jesus wants us to reach out people out there to knowing Him through love. And as we have been chosen as His children, we should be the extension of His hands that bring His love out to others, especially the ones who have not known Him.

I hope our sensitivity and empathy for the weak can grow and grow each day, so that through the love that we bring in our works even in the smallest works, people still see that Jesus rests in us. Amen

And here is, I present you some photos of Oher and the Tuohy's family, from the internet. You probably will know exactly which one is Oher 



 

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

September 18, 2018

Fruits of Salvation



For me it's always interesting talking about life, universe and salvation. Hmm and why salvation? because it cannot be separated from the fallen world we live in, sin, repentance and FORGIVENESS.

When I was a kid I used to think that all of my good works is the key that bring me to heaven. But when I'm grown-up and started to read the Bible and read some Christians' testimonies, they open up my eyes and my understanding that the Salvation is a gift that God has given us long before we were born. That's a relieve 😄.

In the Bible, God has clearly said to us that

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of Godnot by works, so that no one can boast.
(Ephesians 2:8-9)

Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us 
(Titus 3:5)

We have to understand first that heaven, where God settle in is a holy place - and since Adam fell into sin, we separated with Him and live in the fallen world with the original sin that Adam brought.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
(Rome 3:23) 


God know we cannot earn our way back to "life" to heaven as it is pure and holy place and we are far from it. We might think that we are pretty good to enter the kingdom of heaven and we do not deserve to settle in hell. But as Bill Wise says that :

God's standard is so much higher than ours. He says in the Word that if you lie once, just once in your whole life, that makes you a liar. If you've stole one thing in your life, a paper clip, a couple minutes of your boss's time, anything, just once. That makes you a thief. If you were angry without cause, if you didn't forgive someone that did something wrong against you, if you lusted after a women, any of these things, if you just did it one time, that makes you a sinner, and you can't make it to heaven. So you see all of us come short.  
We all fall short and can't get there on our own works.
  
That's why long before Adam fell into sin, God has prepared Himself to sacrifice and bring back the "bridge" so we can reunite with Him and the Father.

And Jesus's sacrifice is the one who brings us there. It's not because of our works, our achievement, and our good deeds that save us. But Jesus by His blood that saved and cleansed us and make us worthy to settle with the Father.

Before we are born, we have been redeemed & saved.

If our ability to do good things, to be righteous were the ones which could only bring us salvation, then we are the most pity creatures that ever exist.    

The salvation comes for all people, all nations, and the choice is ours. 

Then why if He has redeemed all of human, but there are still people who get down into hell? Should God let human fell into hell, if He has the authority to take them out of it?

We have to know that, God give us free will to choose while we are still in the world. 
He cannot let His children to be forced under His will if they are not willing to do.

And hell is the only place that is apart from God's will,
where people are no longer under God's rules nor His will anymore. 

We might have no idea what great torment that were waiting for us in hell if we are not saved. And Jesus had to pay the most expensive price to take back our souls through His suffering to death on the cross.

Then there are always misconceptions come up to argue, that if the salvation comes from Jesus' sacrifice, then our ability to do good and to do righteous works do not take part to bring us to heaven? and we are free to do anything we desire? 

As we have been officially redeemed & saved apart from our works, so we have to bear the fruits to expand His salvation to others through our works. WHY?

 As your soul has been redeemed, you are now His, not your own.
 
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
(1 Corinthians 6:19-20) 

Friends, we might have no idea how painful Jesus ever felt when He sacrificed His body for us to replace our place in hell. And of course as we believe and have faith in Jesus we have to follow Him.

Just imagine, your parents try hard to support you since when you were born until you become a success person now. In their lowest condition and financial matter, they work hard from dawn to midnight in order to give you the best support they ever could from your foods, clothes, and education. Until you realize that you earn this success because of them.
As parents, they might expect nothing from your success, but as a child we must have desire to payback what they have done to you. For every love and material we ever give to our parents never be enough to payback what they have done for us, but as parents they must have delighted enough to see us grow as success and good person as they wish, it's enough for them. 

That's same like our faith in Jesus; Jesus, as our heavenly father, has redeemed our sins, and we will never repay it back or even earn our way to heaven. But instead of trying to repay Him, we better to simply obey Him. So that, His salvation for us can bear fruits to others.

Because this is the difference between Gospel and Religion that in the Gospel, the motivation to do something good is to delight God, not based on fear that we would go to hell. Because God has saved us, this is our turn to delight Him, to be closer with Him.  

And again, if somebody ever asked whether our faith in Jesus is enough to have the salvation?

Faith without works is nothing
 (James 2:14)

Ahh and I really love Laura Story's song title Grace. You all got to listen that song, I think the song is so encouraging us, here is part of the lyrics I like :

I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up,
When I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound?"
And You answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."
You are so patient with me, Lord.


Friday, September 14, 2018

September 14, 2018

Tuhan yang sediakan



Dari dulu, aku orang yang sangat ambisius dan punya target dalam setiap hal, terlebih untuk masalah pekerjaan & mimpi masa depan. Pada saat jaman kuliah aku selalu pasang target untuk lulus 3.5 tahun, dan nggak mau sampai 4 tahun. Kalender penuh dengan corat-coretan jadwal untuk deadline revisi & ketemu dosen, nggak hanya sampai situ akupun bermimpi untuk punya usaha sampingan di samping kuliah. Yep dan Tuhan mengabulkan setiap harapan & kerja keras aku. Aku lulus tepat 3.5 tahun terlebih Tuhan ijinin aku mengecap punya usaha sampingan dari dagang lulur sampai minuman pinggir jalan, ya walau nggak long lasting karena ada beberapa hal bermasalah terkait tempat.

Nggak sampai situ, targetku sebelum pakai topi toga aku sudah harus dapat pekerjaan kantoran, pokoknya maunya wanita karir di dalam kantor yang pakai jas rapih kalau bisa sekretaris! Jadi, sambilan skripsi aku juga rajin apply CV sana sini lewat jobstreet untuk dapat kerja sebelum lulus kuliah! Yep lagi-lagi kebaikan Tuhan megizinkan aku buat punya pekerjaan sebagai sekretaris di salah satu perusahaan minyak di Jakarta satu bulan sebelum aku lulus.

Cuma that's totally embarrassing, ketika aku sudah dapat pekerjaan jadi sekretaris, dan baru 3 hari kerja aku keluar. Nggak tau kenapa perasaan rasanya pengennya keluar, karena mungkin ada kagetnya juga ya baru pertama kali kerja tiap hari harus ikut meeting sama direksi dan aku yang jarang menyerah untuk hal tantangan seperti itupun feeling aku selalu berkata kalau aku harus keluar, i cannot survive any longer. You know, bahkan HRD aku bingung kenapa aku galau banget padahal belum sempat kerja, ibarat kata 3 hari baru pengenalan 😂😂.

Disini sempet galau banget karena mamaku sudah bangga banget anaknya bisa dapat kerja sebelum lulus di perusahaan dan posisi yang bergengsi. Selain itu kantor dan rumahku hanya butuh 20 menit jadinya nggak capek dan NGGAK MACET 😂!!

Oke karena papaku tau aku sempet stress banget mules-mules karena stress kerjaan, papaku nyaranin aku buat resign. Nah inipun penuh drama banget. Papa aku yang aku pikir otoriter dan memaksa aku untuk kerja kerja kerja aku kaget banget ternyata papaku satu-satunya orang yang dukung aku buat resign karena dia ngeliat anaknya stress banget 😂. Karena hal itu juga aku yang suka nggak respect sama papaku, aku jadi belajar untuk lebih menghormati beliau, karena ternyata papaku nggak seotoriter yang aku kira, karena alasan satu-satunya aku nggak keluar aku pikir aku bakal buat orang tua ku marah. Dan dengan senang hati aku ngajuin resign ke bos aku.

Dannnnnnnnnnnn, oke semangat aku nggak sampai disitu, walaupun jujur aja aku nggak ada pandangan mau kerja dimana lagi karena dari segi perusahaan dan lokasi perusahaan pertama aku itu udah yang paling tepat buat aku. Beberapa kali ikut test dan beberapa kali juga aku gagal. Nggak sampai disitu ada juga yang dalam beberapa test aku sempet stress & nangis gara-gara ada yang HRD nya galak. Ada yang perusahaan jauh di Jakarta yang bener-bener ngerasain di kota besar sendirian. Semuanya bener-bener nggak ada pandangan dan sempet menyalahkan diri sendiri, kalau-kalau aku udah salah jalan dan nggak ada kesempatan lagi buat aku? how pathetic and pessimist I am? 😂

Masa wisudapun sudah lewat dan udah satu bulan aku nganggur. Orang tua aku selalu menghibur aku bilang "nanti juga ada kalau udah waktunya", "belum juga 6 bulan lulus tenang aja lin" dll.

Dan you know what makes me so surprised? so, sehari sebelum aku resign dari perusahaan sebelumnya, aku iseng-iseng onlie IG terus while my boss was in meeting. Disini so funny, so, aku punya temen SMA, sebut saja F, dia cowok dan yang mana kita beda kelas dari kelas 10 SMA dan nggak pernah ngomong satu sama lain selama 3 tahun kita sekolah. Setelah itu dia follow aku di IG, biasanya untuk orang-orang yang nggak deket sama aku, aku pasti males buat follow back. Tapi nggak untuk case ini, entah kenapa aku follow back dia jadinya aku bisa lihat feednya dia. Dan pas banget pada hari itu dia post foto kantornya yang mana lokasi perusahaannya sama kaya lokasi perusahaanku. Nggak pake waktu lama SKSD lah tanya-tanya masalah kerjaan dia dimana, perusahaan apa, kantor dimana (imagine that, we never talked each other before, but it started for the first time, a day before I resigned 😂). Karena kita merasa di lokasi yang sama dia ngajakin aku buat ketemu setelah kerja, jadilah aku cerita semua masalah sama dia dan iseng-iseng bilang kalau kalau ada lowongan bisa dong infoin, itu pertama kalinya aku ngomong langsung sama dia. Walaupun pada saat itu dia bilang wah nggak ada kayaknya. dan aku pun nggak menganggap itu hal yang serius.

And you know what? Setelah masa-masa berserah ditolak sana sini dan beberapa nggak srek sama perushaan, tiba-tiba temanku si F ini nawarin aku pekerjaan. Awalnya aku nggak tertarik karena posisi ku CRO, dan sempat aku pending 1 / 2 minggu dan aku konfirmasi iya oke, daripada aku nganggur juga.

Ternyata pas aku wawancara nggak disangka aku nggak punya saingan satupun, dan perusahaan itu memang nunggu orang dari orang dalem si F ini hha. AKu juga sempet mikir kenapa juga nggak pake jobstreet? 😂

Dan saat ini aku udah berjalan 1.5 tahun kerja disini. Betah terlebih lagi jobdesknya nggak monoton, ada yang ketemu orang, ada yang administrasi, dan ada masalah-masalah baru. Selain itu rekan dan atasan juga baik-baik dan yang terpenting deket banget sama rumah.

So guys,  lagi-lagi how good our God is. Bahkan kalau aku liat lagi kebelakang semuanya sudah terkoneksi dan yapp bagaimana pengalaman kerjaan ku itu bisa dikatakan nggak ada yang kebetulan. Dan aku percaya semua ini semata-mata angurah.

Dari perusahaan pertama ku disini yang lucu, jadi aku sempet bingung kenapa divisi lain seperti R&D dsb pakai sistem gugur, dan cuma aku doang yang lamar sekretaris dipanggil sendirian dan nggak ada yang lain. Walaupun pada saat itu aku minta 2 minggu setelah ditelepon baru bersedia wawancara.dan pergi ke Jakarta karena pada saat ditelepon untuk wawancara aku lagi Jogja ngurusin berkas yusidium. Selain itu perusahaan ku selanjutnya pun juga begitu, aku nggak ada saingan seolah-olah posisi itu disiapkan buat aku dan cuma buat aku aja dan cuma nungguin aku.

Dan kalian tau, aku bukan orang yang cukup pintar teori/ hafalan apalagi ikut test psikologi dan semacamnya. Dari 2 perusahaan itu aku nggak dituntut untuk bisa lolos test psikologi karena dari 2 perusahaan itu kandidat untuk posisi yang lagi aku apply cuma aku aja yang dipanggil 😂. Dan walaupun begitu Tuhan bisa sediain buat aku dan sesuai dengan kapasitas aku. Karena aku paling nggak bisa pergi jauh/ macet pasti sering sakit. Dan yang bikin kaget 2 perusahaan ini di lokasi yang sama.

Pekerjaan bisa melenceng dari target ku, tapi yang pasti aku tau Tuhan selalu sediain pekerjaan untuk anak-anakNya sesuai kapasitas anak-anakNya dengan jalan yang so unpredictable.

Yang awalnya aku pikir nggak ada kesempatan kedua buat aku untuk dapat pekerjaan yang "semulus sebelumnya", no God has a thousand ways to make it through.

Percayalah segala usaha & kerja keras kita diperhitungkan Tuhan & kalau memang "hal" itu milikmu entah itu posisi, pekerjaan, rejeki, jodoh, pasti nggak akan ada yang bisa mengambilnya jika Tuhan sudah sediakan.

And my thought turned to His words

Wahyu 3: 18
Aku tahu segala pekerjaanmu: lihatlah, Aku telah membuka pintu bagimu, yang tidak dapat ditutup oleh seorangpun. Aku tahu bahwa kekuatanmu tidak seberapa, namun engkau menuruti firmanKu dan engkau tidak menyangkal namaKu.

credits